Choosing a hooker

So, due to ennui and paralysis, I’ve desperately decided to go to a hooker today.

I used to go to hookers a lot when I was employed regularly, but since the Obama Recession began, that pleasurable event has left me, since I can’t afford the prices. And if I did ever get the jonsesing real bad, I had to find a high quality girl who delivered the goods well–and multiple times with no clock watching—for a reasonable price and be available when I was hungry for flesh. I couldn’t take a flier on a girl with mediocre reviews (I go to review sites for the info) or someone who was new or someone who’s body I just wasn’t in the mood for (e.g. asian when I wanted MILK, white when I wanted asian, etc.).

For my hooker predilection, I blame college. I know that men throughout history have gone to hookers, but my particular jonsesing arises from the false Christmas college is. Let me explain:

During high school, 95% of guys aren’t getting laid. Those who do have a good chance of ending up baby daddies; its the select few who get laid and have safe sex.  So when the average guy  gets to college, he’s not expecting much in the way of poon.

But in college, women become sluts. Women in college will sleep with anything, anyone, anytimes. Chalk it up to the “experimentation” vibe put out by most college propaganda and also by the age range—women from 18-22 in most cultures in history had their first kids. Their hormones are figuratively screaming at them to get dicked, and fast.

Add to that mix the free flowing alcohol, weed, and other drugs given out at parties; the lack of parental supervision; the constant party atmosphere; the feminist propaganda; the sorority-and-frat peer pressure at some schools;  and the knowledge that many will use grad school to find their Mr. Right, and most of these whores are panicked to get nailed constantly by as many dicks as they can find that do not resemble Mr. Right, but Mr. (or Ms.) Right Now. And don’t get me started about when they go study abroad…..

Thus, when a college guy first encounters college girls, he is astounded at how easy they are. “Finally,” he thinks. “I’ve found girls who are open and want sex, not like the high school girls who aren’t that easy. And these girls are my peers for life! Sweet!”

Thus average guy, whom these girls will all try out for a night or two, gets a constant, easy stream of blow jobs, casual sex, different pussy, and, if he plays his cards right, a threesome or two. He gets more sex than he can handle, and starts to actually turn down offers because he’s too exhausted. Its sexual overload.

But this story has a sad ending, and it can be summed up in that old adage: “Men marry women expecting them to never change, women marry men expecting them to completely change.”

Once a girl leaves college, her legs shut. I will cheerfully admit that this is often extended until 25 years old in major cities, so a young man just leaving has a few more years of blissful fun, but most girls dry up quickly and go right back into high school mode. That’s right: they go from bitch to porn slut back to bitch again, all in 4-7 years.

College guy, now graduated, will find that what once was as easy as showing up to a bar now isn’t One night stands are reserved for fat chicks, hipster whores, and mentally deranged psychopaths. The cute, slutty, bi-curious whores who sucked your dick after the first frat beer? She’s now not giving it up until date 3 or 4—-she needs a long term bf, you see; and she might not look your way, since she’s in full on gold digger mode now. Frustration in college guy grows.

So I was college guy, and not only did I get frustrated by the lack of play without investment where before there was some—much like a cocaine high—-I had a shrewish bitch of a girlfriend who was a feminist ball cutter. So I naturally wanted the sexual variety back of college that women had taken away, and also, I really wanted to cheat on that bitch.

Enter hookers.

Now, I have been having a stressful time of late, and I came to the reluctant conclusion I needed to waste some of my dwindling monetary supply for some poontang. But I had to make an informed choice and spend my money well—which meant girls I knew were good and I felt comfortable with.

After the drama of figuring out what I wanted today and who was around and what I could afford, my current choice involved two girls.

Both are Asian. I am in rather a MILF-y mood, or an Indian girl mood, actually, but, as I am low on funds, I found girls I know well and are usually around. One, H, is a dream: 5’10” (model/bottle-poppin’ girl type), long black hair (although it’s extensions), thin, 28, sexually voracious (fuck her 4-5 times and she never needs lube), dresses for you, great big apartment to fuck in, will let you run over a lot, truly bi-sexual and, best of all most times, no condom and cum inside her. An awesome ho.

Drawbacks to H.? She’s a bit bitchy and strident; she once said I should be pegged (fucked up the ass) to see if I like it. She also can be pushy (once told me she’d call her “pimp” if I put my hands around her throat) and just…not very good at assuaging your ego; pretty girl syndrome, really. Not a great cocksucker, never seen her swallow, won’t call me daddy. Doormen are nosy, make you stop at her place; when I had a better place, she’d be over every Sunday afternoon. Now, I’m afraid she’d make fun of me if I had her over, and yes, that would hurt my ego.

The other girl, K. Petite (5’2″), long black hair, child-like, probably 32 but looks 25, and, best of all, legitimate porn actress. Close by.

Drawbacks to K.: My one time with her was rather sterile. She wasn’t that into it, although she was a trooper and pretended to be. Bad apartment for sex. Wasn’t wearing outfit I requested when I got there. Seemed more flighty than H.

Both girls have same rate.

Really, I would usually go with H., but there is one thing about K that sold me: she’s leaving town to go back to Vegas, since she hasn’t had fun since moving to NYC last year. I blame the down economy. But anyway, this is my last chance at a porn star—ok, porn actress, she only has a few movies, but they are high quality. So I’ve arranged a meeting with K. for this afternoon.

10 Responses to “Choosing a hooker”

  1. Vincent Ignatius Says:

    Your hooker dollar goes much further in Eastern Europe or Latin America.

    • whorefinder Says:

      Eh, perhaps, I haven’t looked. But I have a lot more success with non-escort “foreign” girls for some reason—I pull better looking ones with less effort and they’re often much more wild in bed. I’ve hooked up with several in NYC and abroad, and they all have been bi-curious or better within the first bang. So when I travel, I really don’t look to spend money on the whores, because its less necessary.

      However, when living day-to-day, the hassles of a non-pro often wear you down, to the point that a simple transactional sex exchange is beneficial. When I was flying high at a 6 figure job, a hot hooker was actually less of a time/money investment than a regular lay at various times.

  2. MaMu1977 Says:

    IME, the easiest way to make a woman desire sex is to make the sex act enjoyable. It isn’t rocket science.

    Then again, you’re the person who complained about the fact that his whore doesn’t like the idea of him putting his hands around her neck. my guess: you couldn’t make a woman come with a diamond dildo, even if she showed up at your house with instructions conveniently tattooed on her back.

    Or, to put things even more bluntly: women fuck like animals during college because they’re looking for guys who can make them come. If/when they find guys who are able to make them come on a regular basis, they marry him and go on to incredibly filthy, sex-saturated lives (assuming that the men in question can figure out how to fuck them when they’re pregnant.) If they *don’t* find guys who can make them come on a regular basis, they start looking for the next best thing: guys with enough money to make orgasms superfluous.

  3. MaMu1977 Says:

    P.S.-Those women are also more likely to be parsimonious with the orgasms in an effort to “hook” their catch. Of course, the guys they capture are usually still stuck in the frat boy/BMOC “my dick is all that she needs” mindset, so the couple fails sexually in the long run anyway.

  4. Nooker Says:

    So, Whorefinder, this 5’10” Asian whore works outta NYC, right? Wanna give some of us interested parties an idea of which web site she might advertise on?

    • whorefinder Says:

      Perhaps in a future post. I don’t want to out the poor girl—ok, escort skank—to potential Law Enforcement. If you become a regular commentator, I may email you privately. However, I would suggest finding an escort review site that is well-maintained and searching there. She isn’t that hard to find, since she is well-reviewed.

      P.S.: stay away from Asian “agencies.” #1) they suck #2) the girls are basically sex slaves against their will.

  5. Nooker Says:

    Yeah, the Asian Agencies always look pretty sketchy–not to mention their ads always tend to use pics of impossibly hot model-types. I’m sure the actual “girls” you get when you arrive are 40+ year old skanks from Hong Kong, not the sexy and adorable images they give you.

    • whorefinder Says:

      Nooker, sadly, at the beginning of my whoring, I did use an Asian agency. They’re not 40 year old skanks, but worse: very young girls smuggled in via Chinese/Korean Coyotes (e.g. organized crime), who can’t speak English and are told their families back home will be killed/ they will be killed if they don’t perform. It’s a huge racket and pretty awful.

      I felt so bad for the girl I just gave her the money and tried to get her to leave (she was of age, but the look in her eye was pure panic and non-enthusiasm, a strange mix).

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