How to find a Whore, Part 2: Are you in a baseball city?

So you want a whore. Next question: are you in a baseball city?

hold up, I’m not asking you whether your city likes baseball (otherwise, Miami, with its anemic attendance, would not count) nor am I asking if your little podunk town has a minor league club or produces 3/4 of all college all-stars or is the birthplace of Tom Emanski.

What I mean by this question is: does your city have a major league baseball (MLB) franchise, or could it support one?

I pose this question because it will characterize your search for a hooker. Basically, I’m asking if you live in a large, major city.

I’m not asking about NFL or NBA or NHL franchises, because those aren’t good qualifiers.

The NFL is a country game—people flock to NFL locations for one day, making it more like a concert event in the desert than a sporting event. Hence why NFL teams often play in places that aren’t major cities, e.g. Green Bay, Foxboro, and Jacksonville. What’s more, places like LA don’t have a team, but LA is certainly the best overall selection for hookers in the country (more on that later).

The NBA and NHL are, for all intents and purposes, minor league sports. They seat only half the number of fans for a game as MLB (20,000 v. 40,000), play half as many games as MLB (82 v. 162), and do less than half of MLB’s ratings and merchandising. Let’s face it: Oklahoma City, Memphis, and Charlotte (NBA) and Columbus, Ottawa, and Buffalo (NHL) are small potatoes; no one ever says anymore, “I’m going big time!” and means Oklahoma City.

Of course certain towns are on the edges. Montreal, which had the Expos for years but no longer has them, is a city I would include, while dying Kansas City, which has the Royals, might not fit (I’ve never gotten escorts there).

Now, why do I ask this question? Simple: those towns that have MLB franchises are large enough to have a well-developed hooker system so that legitimate online rating systems and advertisements allow you selection. This is critical to hooker selection. Online review sites are the key to hooker happiness (for you, at least).

Why MLB?

Cities large enough to have an MLB franchise have large populations. Larger populations= more girls hooking. More girls hooking means that more men are banging them. More men banging them means men will want to generate a way to find the multitudes of girls in a city quickly down for escorting. What is more, large cities offer anonymity that encourages both escort use and the ability to find them outside word-of-mouth. Quite frankly, if there is but one hooker house in your town—because there aren’t that many men to service—everyone will know everyone else and want to keep things under wraps, so little advertisement.

Now, the description isn’t perfect, as I’ve mentioned. For example, Las Vegas, Montreal and New Orleans are prime time hooking areas, where you can find excellent treats, but no baseball teams. Even rinky-dink Atlantic City has some good times available. But these four have one thing in common: major casinos. That will be dealt with later as well.

Perhaps a better test of a city is the Foreign Guy test, or perhaps the Weather Report Test. Basically, under the Foreign Guy test: would a middle class person from abroad recognize your city’s name as an American city the moment they heard the name? Would an image instantly form in their mind of your city? The Weather Report Test: if there were a major storm (e.g. Katrina) in your area, would the Weather Reports thousands of miles away center around the damage to your city (e.g. New Orleans)?

But I think MLB test works best, because it focuses on the economy and size of a city. I don’t think a baseball team could actually survive in Las Vegas or New Orleans (that’s a different theory for another day), but they’re still baseball cities for the purposes of this test.

But I don’t live in an MLB city!
If you do not live in an MLB city, you’re not SOL. Many guys live near MLB cities (where near=1hr’s travel distance). If you do, I would strong suggest traveling there for your hooking pleasure, using incall girls (a term I’ll define in later posts).

If you do not live within an hour of an MLB city, you might live near medium-large cities (100,000+ in populations) that simply haven’t achieved dominance (e.g. NBA/NHL cities, or places like Albany, NY or Providence, RI). Medium-large cities might have some traveling girls or else some good local girls you can find through craigslist methods (another term to be defined later).

If you’re way out in the country or in small-town America, you very well might be SOL. Everyone is likely to know you, and if you don’t know the local hooking scene, its probably because you’re not in the inner sanctum of your local area where the power is. Trust me when I say that every small area has a brothel or group of hookers that the Mayor/richest guy around/ local magistrates know and probably frequent. I prescribe travel/moving, but much later I will offer some advice about craigslist methods that may help you if you like where you are.

Ok, now you’ve figured out if your city is a baseball city or not. However, even if you’re not in a baseball city, my next few posts will still help you. On to step 3—–equipment.

2 Responses to “How to find a Whore, Part 2: Are you in a baseball city?”

  1. Nooker Says:

    Addendum to ALL rules of hooker use: Unless it’s Florida, don’t bother with the South. States to avoid in particular: Alabama, Mississippi, Kentucky, West Virginia. Nothing int hose states but fat ghetto mommas, leathery middle-aged divorcees, or hopeless meth-heads. Now, in most situations you could avoid such persons by going with actual escorts rather than streetwalkers, but in the states I’ve mentioned THOSE TYPES ARE THE ESCORTS.

    • whorefinder Says:

      Well, I dunno. Do you consider Missouri the South? Because St. Louis has a good scene (or so I’ve heard). Some genuine hotties are in Atlanta (just avoid the niggers). And Texas? Let’s not forget Texas is the South (and part of the Confederacy) and is stacked with many fine ones. And New Orleans has good ones, too (again, avoid the niggers).

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