How I Know It’s Spring

I know it’s finally spring when my masturbation schedule changes.

Usually I’m a 5-a-day-er, which is pretty high, especially if you’re not a teenager.

Yet when spring hits–the so-called “spring fever”–I ramp it up to 10-a-day or more.

Which is what has happened in the last 3 days. My ball sack is pretty shriveled and drained, and I’m still jonsesing to fire up the ol’ internet porn and splooge on an imaginary face or two. So, with that…


p.s. Unlike most guys, masturbation actually makes me hornier.

For most guys, you should NOT jerk off if you want to have sex later that day.  It’ll kill your sex drive.

However, for me, it’s strangely the opposite.  If I try not to jerk it all day, I actually DON’T feel much like fucking that night, and, if I do fuck, it’s with decidedly LESS energy.  But if I whack it like a mofo all day, I’m FIENDING for it that night, and I’ll nail a girl a hard six ways to Sunday–or I’ll be at the top of my player game.

No one ever said ol’whorefinder quite followed the pack.

7 Responses to “How I Know It’s Spring”

  1. rmaxgenactivepua Says:

    If you really want to get the most out of wanking that much, dont eat before you masturbate

    An orgasm is really a nutrition deficiency, wanking sends huge amounts of nutrients to the brain, giving that feeling of euphoria

    If you already have large amounts of nutrients circulating in your system, you wont feel a thing, all it does is get buffered by existing nutrients in the system

    Same applies to smoking weed, getting high on an empty stomach is lethal lol, so is wanking

  2. dave Says:

    Holy fuck you’re one virile motherfucker. Damn I doubt any bitch can keep up if you can do workouts and function properly with that rate.

    Shit man you could be a prize fighter if you stopped jerking it and started training.

  3. mrossi Says:

    did you ever write part 4 of how to find a whore? I see parts 1 2 and 3. actually finding her I don’t think you answered

  4. thexder Says:

    Looks like Chuck Rudd gave up blogging and is going to kill his blog.

    • whorefinder Says:

      ha. prolly an April fool’s joke or a swerve. If not, he’ll be back once he gets fired from whatever lefty rag he starts sucking cock for. Salon or Slate, prolly. What a fucking soulless liar.

  5. Peter the Grit Says:

    Quit jacking off and start writing again. WTF is the matter with you?

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