Recently, via the glorious internet, I tried to hook up with a hooker, but unfortunately she does not do “incall” service (where you go to her) but only “outcall” service (she goes to you). That was surprising, as the hooker had very good reviews and has been quite successful for a while—most working girls in that position do both kinds of service. I unfortunately cannot have a hooker visit me at the moment, and I can’t justify spending the extra money for a hotel room.
I am also saddened, because my main purpose in contacting Hooker was to get over a non-hooker girl I recently stopped seeing/dating/hooking up with/whatever. Unfortunately, I betaed out and got sweet on Non-Hooker. This was very unfortunate, because Non-Hooker is a bitchy Asian Tiger Momma type (sans kids), so there wasn’t even a hint of give or cushion to my behavior—I betaed quite little and yet it was done. The text messages stopped being returned, the flakiness cropped up as if I’d never banged her, etc. And so, in getting sweet, I got sad instead.
Hooker Girl was to be my rebound off of Non-Hooker. I chose Hooker Girl because of her resemblance to Non-Hooker, thinking that it would be the best way to push forward. I did a lot of research to pick out Hooker Girl, and so when I couldn’t get a meetup with her, I was too gassed and down to go find another. When you’re only in the mood for one thing, the other things on the menu won’t do. So I’ll probably just stay in tonight and drink.
That got me thinking about the atomization of our culture, and how a white gentile straight male in this day and age really is discientivized to healthy socialization:
- We are not allowed to form clubs or social groups based on our group identities.
- Our work space has been invaded by women and minorities who do a worse job than us, destroy morale via speech police, and complain if we dare complain about their inferior performance.
- Our churches have been turned in Kumbaya-feel-good circles of feminized weakness, diversity mandating, and gay “acceptance” propaganda.
- The local bar or pub isn’t ethnically based either, and thus we can’t even let off steam while having a few there; as for the women there to be hit on, they are crass, loud, unintelligent, slutty, unfeminine, and yet entitled-acting, as if they should have the right to laugh at or turn a man away and get the whole place laughing at him.
- At home, our wives and GFs don’t obey us, hold all the legal cards in lying about divorce and abuse, and disrespect us at every turn.
- And modern media, including movies and plays and musicals and other “go-out” events, constantly take a giant poop on our accomplishments and culture and beliefs.
Thus there is no safe space for me in my culture. And so I am atomized. I would rather not interact with the world, since every interaction brings only pain and degradation. A bottle of alcohol and a cable/internet package are more pleasurable to me than the people and culture that I am ostensible part of but feel more and more separate from.
Still, the desire for human interaction is instinctive, and a strong pull at times. Hence why I sometimes go out and interact more than is necessary for survival. And so to the pub, to the social clubs, to the other amusements with their anti-white, anti-male, anti-Christian, anti-straight propaganda that beat upon my will and my psyche like a dogpile of football players jumping upon an already-tackled football player.
With hookers, however, I can at least control the interaction: one person, paid to be pleasant, paid to please me, and, usually, succeeding in pleasing me, if I do my research right. And so the atomization can be further completed if I can merely have the girl I need at the moment I want her so long as I can pay the price. Unfortunately, the seams in the system showed through this encounter.